My Own Personal Brand Of Parasite
by Sawyer's girl9
Summary: Bringing a whole new meaning to doggy style... Not in that way! Enjoy...


Friendly Lick

Note: Okay, since I've seen no fanfic of this type before, I'm submitting this one. Ladies and gentleman of the Twilight community, I proudly (and somewhat anxiously) present: EdCob! Don't murder me. Please leave all negative comments far away, thanks! And just for the record, I'm Team Jacob. Enjoy!

Jacob flew past the trees in his wolf form, legs barely touching the ground. His shaggy hair rose and fell with the speed, his eyes narrowed with concentration. He was hunting.

Catching the scent of an unfamiliar creature, Jacob slid to a stop. His ears pricked up, hearing the very faint footsteps heading towards him. Panicking in case it was someone he knew, Jacob phased, and hunched down by a tree.

He reached down to his leg for his jeans. The rope was there, but not his clothes. He silently swore, covering his nakedness with his hands.

'And I lose my lunch.' he thought angrily. 'Whoever it was deserved a wolf attack.'

The footsteps abruptly stopped. He heard sniffing. Who was this? One of the Cullens, maybe?

The footsteps trailed away. Jacob sensed around him, hearing nothing more than the deer he had been chasing getting away. He phased again and hurried along.

The deer flitted from tree to tree, its slender legs fleeing the wolf. Jacob sped up, his mouth watering. He could have killed it minutes ago, but he enjoyed teasing his food. The deer got tired and slowed down, stumbling away from certain death. Jacob took pity and pounced.

He collided with another creature in mid-air, spinning onto the grass. The deer, spooked, drifted quickly away. Jacob growled and stood up, facing the invader.

'Prepare to die-' he thought fiercely, and backed away in shock. Edward Cullen crouched opposite him, motionless. His skin glittered in the sunlight, creating a spectrum of rainbows. He was bare-chested and frowning.

"Jacob?"

Jacob snarled in reply. 'You stole my lunch! Get out of here, bloodsucker!'

Edward laughed. "Or what? Why don't you phase?"

Jacob took a thundering step forward. 'You're not allowed on Quileute land.'

"This isn't your land. This is neutral land. We're not in either territory, Jacob. We can both be here."

Jacob paced steadily. 'What do you want?'

Edward smiled. "Same as you. Lunch. Being with Bella doesn't let me feast as often. I'm sure you understand."

'No, I don't understand. I don't suck the life out of things. I bet Bella can deal without you there to hold her hand.'

Edward sighed. "She wanted to see you, Jacob."

'I'm busy.'

"Aren't you always? I wish I was you. Able to get away sometimes. Must be nice." Edward sat on a tree stump.

'I'd much prefer Bella. I don't get you, Cullen. Why leave the woman you love? I'd look after her all the time. Never let her go.'

Edward held Jacob's wolf eyes with his own. "Would you? It's harder than you think, Jacob."

Jacob cocked his head to one side. Edward chuckled.

'What?' Jacob thought in confusement.

"Nothing, nothing. You're just a cute were-" Edward went still, hand over his mouth. "I can't believe I said that. Slip of the tongue. I'm sorry, Jacob."

Jacob rolled around on his back, paws in the air, yapping in laughter. 'Ha-ha-ha, Cullen thinks I'm cute! Bloodsucker! Cute!'

"Hey, I didn't mean it."

Jacob got to his feet. 'Yes you did! You did, you did!'

"Alright, Jacob, calm down. Just don't tell Bella."

'Why? Don't want her to know your secret crush on me?' Jacob joked.

"No! I mean- I don't have a crush on you. You stink. Literally."

'So do you!' Jacob grinned with his wolf teeth. Edward looked a little intimidated.

"Okay, Jacob, I'm leaving now. Enjoy your little hunt." Edward bowed his head slightly to indicate he was leaving. He slipped away silently, like a shimmering ghost. Jacob sat for a moment in his wolf form, lazily enjoying the sun on his back.

Then he jumped up, phased and darted after Edward. What was the carnivore doing way out here? There he was! A swift shape darted forward, partly hidden by the vegetation, stalking the same deer Jacob had. Jacob followed, fully conscious that he was naked, chasing a hunting vampire, miles away from his pack and very much alone.

Cullen killed the deer in a flash, without spilling one drop of blood. There was no noise, not even when he snapped its neck. He drunk deeply from it, until he was fully satisfied. He disposed of the deer by half-burying it under some leaves, confident another creature would finish it off.

Jacob was sickened. As a wolf, he would eat the whole deer, leaving no evidence at all. And he would still be hungry. Wolves definitely beat parasites any day.

"Not lost are you, Jacob?"

Jacob spun around. "Not hungry any more? That was disgusting."

Edward smirked. "Cycle of life. By the way, you don't have any clothes on."

Jacob flushed with heat, shifting in front of a short sapling. Edward watched unperturbed. He coolly crossed his arms. "Why did you phase?"

Jacob stared back at the killer's golden eyes. "Curious." he shrugged.

"Well, you've been following me. Can you leave me alone, please? Or do you want something?"

He was much closer than Jacob had thought. No blood dribbled down his chin, no desire to suddenly slay, he didn't even have any fangs. He was completely calm and collected.

"You called me cute." Jacob said hastily, phased again and licked Edward's face. He phased back into a himself and stepped back fearfully. Edward raised an eyebrow, wiping the slobber from his face. "And what," he asked dangerously. "Was that for?"

"No one pays attention to me. Not Leah, Embry or Quil. Not even Bella. And you did."

Edward sighed heavily. "It was just a slip of the tongue!"

"Yeah, but you were thinking it! Besides, it was just a friendly lick."

Jacob and Edward glared at each other, unwilling to back down first. Jacob phased again.

'See you soon, _leech_.' Jacob thought smugly. He padded softly away into the forest, dug up Edward's lifeless deer and carried it away in his jaws. Edward watched him leave, expressionless.


End file.
